Understanding your heart is to know peace and harmony.
A little child is told "No, you can't have 'that'," with no explanation of why not.
The child really wants 'it' and becomes frustrated, then hurt, then angry because they can't have what they wanted and don't know why. When enough anger is stored up, a degree of reaction occurs.
1. 
A puzzled look for frustration,
2. 
crying mildly for a little hurt or hitting for more hurt,
3. 
a tantrum for a huge amount of anger.
A child lives in the world of "questions and answers" - "why, why, why". When that "why" is not answered satisfactorily, there is an 'unbalance' caused within the child - 'a feeling with no thought', no answer. An 'unbalance' tips the feelings into the 'negative realm' -- 'balance' being the 'positive realm'.
 Balance UP= positive |   = negative Unbalance |
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One of the first questions a counselor asks is "How did that make you feel?" Then you proceed to learn to put words to the way you felt for various negative situations that happened to you during your childhood. When some understanding occurs, then the counselor will ask how you felt for some positive situations.
Often people do not carry their counseling beyond learning that their parents programmed them with negative feelings and responses. Their natural reaction is to hate the parent, because they have not learned to react with a positive, healing response yet. Would it not be much better for parents to teach their children to put words to their feelings so they won't end up seeking a counselor to learn what they should have learned in their childhood years?
What happens when a parent has never been taught this chain of command of feelings? A feeling must have a thought, a thought must have a feeling. What happens when a parent doesn't have this realization? That parent can not teach their child properly. They will 'react' in a negative way with their child, thus producing a negative feeling within their child.
A parent must begin positive teaching from birth,
if not at birth, as soon as they find out the positive way.
A parent begins by paying attention to the needs and wants of their child as soon as they are born. When a child wants something, it is like asking a question if they can have it. If the parent does not pay attention and give them a satisfactory answer why they can't have it, that child will be thrown into an unbalanced, negative state.
It is up to parents to keep their child in the higher, healthier state of positive feelings, positive vibrations. When a parent does not take the time to explain thing properly, they are causing a negative reaction, a negative feeling within their child. That unbalance can lead to physical sickness, or in later years, to a counselor's chair. The child now has a 'blockage of feelings'.
If a teen or adult ends up forced to see a counselor because their negative actions, and they find out that their parents are the ones that gave them their negative start in life, that person usually continues the negative programming and 'blames' their parent. Blame is a negative response which lacks understanding. And around and around we go. It takes a great deal of positive actions to overcome negative programming.
Try this experiment. Take a glass of clear water, which we will call 'positive feelings'. Now pour a few drops of coffee, which we will call 'negative feelings', into the clear water. What happens? The water, positive feelings, is contaminated. To bring that water back to a clear state, you will have to pour A LOT more water to make it 'look' clear again. There will always be a residue of the coffee, or negative, left to haunt us.
= positivebalanced |  = negative Unbalance |  always some negative waiting for more |
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Negative feelings pile up and up until they have to be released. Negative feelings erupt when the negative buildup is more than the positive buildup. The same accumulation also works with positive feelings.
It takes a great deal of constant effort to undo the negative programming of our youth. This is why it is so important to teach children in a positive manner, with love and understand, so that they will not acquire negative blocks that might take them years to over come.
© Geraldine M. Paulette Bennett
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